I am truly blessed to have the mother I did. She was caring, funny, loveable, sometimes grouchy, and always helped others!! Ohhh how she loved the grandkids - Jake still thinks she will get well and come home. I don't know how to explain death to my children, I know they know but understanding is a whole different story. And my dad, i wish I could make the pain go away for my Dad and Wrangler. I know there house is very quiet now. And I know they have to work it out, but i still wish I could take there pain away. Her and my dad were great together, they grouched around alot, but thats just who they were - they complimented each other well. I always laughed growing up because if we did anything wrong and had to go home and explain, my mom believed anything and everything we told her and my dad believed NOTHING - so somewhere in the middle they came to pretty much the real story. My mom was the mediator I guess maybe all moms are.
I am still wondering how something so natural can hurt so bad? I keep saying that dying only sucks for the ones left behind. I know that my mom is in a much greater place, but the selfish part of me still wants her here.
I miss her so much and its only been a week. I love you mom and will miss our daily talks - we always used to talk, laugh and complain about things, life, and sometimes people:) she would always say "well if only the world were as wonderful as you and me, we would get along great" and yes she was being sarcastic, but we laughed alot!! I talked to my mom everyday, I am actually kind of feeling sorry for my dad because now he has had to talk to me everyday:)
During this difficult time though I need to let you all know how much i appreciate each and every one of you! So many people gave time out of there day to go out of there way for our family and it is heartwarming, to say the least!!
I could guarantee on some, and a few surprised me(sorry but they did) but it made my heart a little happier with each person that called or wrote. I'm not a very sentimental person, my dad always said you could only cry on the day of funerals because our life has to go on(that changed a bit-not much-but a bit this time around) and alot of you knew me and how I wanted to deal with it which is don't talk about it and go on. But I do have to say the love that was thrown my way was GREATLY WANTED AND APPRECIATED. I don't feel like I couldn't thank any of you enough!!!
I also have to give a special thanks to Brandon, whom was so perfectly wonderful!! The day my mom passed we were not expecting it so I told Brandon I would just go to Farmington by myself and he could just do his thing. Well am I ever glad he insisited on going, he also sat through quite a few days of just sitting and helping keep my dad company with some cattle talk etc - it really helped I LOVE YOU BRANDON!! And a great big thanks to James who is just always there - in a good way- and does all the crap jobs no matter how hard, or gutwrenching, or whatever. James is one of my few heros and I could not live without him!!
And of coarse Glenna, she called, and answered my calls no matter what- she had gone out of town for a weekend with her siblings and yet she still made me a priority, I LOVE YOU GLENNA!!!
Tammy, Tammy, Nan, Becky,Jennifer Oliver, Stacy, and Jamie who constantly checked on me througout - Thank you all of you I am so blessed to have you!! I LOVE EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOU AND AM A BETTER PERSON FOR KNOWING YOU!!
once Again thank you to everyone!! I couldn't live without you, and I don't want to miss anyone because you all were so wonderful!!!
